Kayla has found her forever family

Congratulations to the family that has accepted referral of Kayla, EAC individual special focus referral.
Kayla's family is busy working on paperwork and looking forward to bringing her home.

Lockdown from a family's perspective

Emma, Amy and Seth

While in China, we lived by one simple rule: Whatever Emma wants, Emma gets.  She wants to eat continuously all day?  No problem; just make sure we are stocked up on diapers and wipes.  She wants to wear her coat and shoes over her footy pajamas?  Why not?  It could very well be the next big fashion trend.  She wants to be pushed in her stroller continuously and will scream at the top of her lungs if you stop?   Well, you better keep that stroller moving.  In our naiveté, that only first time parents can possess and truly master, we thought everything would change when we returned home to Michigan.  No longer would we be in survival mode, we were returning to our comfortable lifestyle with just one subtle difference: our new daughter Emma, a two going on three year old, who had only known us for two weeks and who we were bringing half-way around the world. 

 

How do we know the 2 month lockdown works?  Simple; we screwed up our first week home.  We had been home for several days and were feeling a bit stir crazy.  We decided to visit our friends at their house and catch up.  Really, what’s the harm in that?  After all, we weren’t going to stay very long.  Within moments of walking in the door, there it was…“The Look”.  We had seen “The Look” before in the days following our first introduction at the Adoption Center in Nanjing.  On the day we first met Emma in person, she looked like the saddest kid in the whole entire world; but she never shed a tear.  The next morning, she started to warm up to us, but by afternoon you could see in her eyes that she was shutting down.  Over the next few days, Emma spent more time warming up to us and less time in her shut down mode.  Now as we stood in the living room of our friends’ house, we knew exactly what we were in for that night and Emma did not disappoint.  Shortly after going to bed, Emma had a night terror.  This made us realize that our one simple rule while in China hadn’t expired upon returning home.  Not only was Emma going to continue to get what she wanted, we were also going to give her what she needed.

 

The following day, we pushed the reset button.  We implemented a schedule that not only regulated meal times but activities as well.  When Emma woke up in the morning (usually around 7:00 or 7:30) we would get her dressed and go downstairs for breakfast.  Similar to her routine in China, we started her day with a bottle of warm milk.  After breakfast, we watched Sesame Street from 9:00 until 10:00.  From 10:00 until 12:00 we read books and played games.  Lunch was 12:00 to 1:00.  Naptime: 1:00 to 3:00.  From 3:00 to 5:30 we read more books and played more games.  At 5:30 we ate dinner.  We spent time together as a family until bath time at 7:30 followed by bedtime at 8:00.  The next day, we repeated the exact same thing.  And so that became our schedule for the next two months.    

 

When I stated earlier that Emma could eat continuously, that’s no exaggeration.  We had a non-stop 15 hour flight from Hong Kong to Detroit.  Emma ate non-stop for the first 10 hours and slept for the last 5.  During the first couple weeks of our new lockdown routine, Emma always had a full cup of snacks within her reach.  If she wanted more, we refilled the cup.  Eventually, she weaned herself off the constant snacking and we established a snack time of 10:30 and 3:30.  Within a couple weeks, Emma was sleeping through the night in her own room by herself.  We noticed that her temper tantrums and periods of grieving were also improving the more we kept with our routine.  While she still possessed the most serious disposition we had ever seen in a toddler, her little personality was on the verge of exploding. 

 

Slowly we began to add extracurricular activities to our day.  Normally a two month lockdown would be pretty easy to accomplish during a Michigan winter.  However, this winter was unusually mild.  We would sneak out while neighbors were at work for a stroller ride.  We would take a car ride by the lake.  We would visit our friends again so Emma could play with another child her age.  When I returned to work, Emma went to daycare.  Her transition went better than expected.  We prepared ourselves for night terrors and food hoarding which never came.  Instead, she continued to sleep through the night.  She was beginning to eat fewer portions and actually began getting picky in her food choices.  For me, I realized the lockdown worked about a week and a half into my return to work.  I was pulling into our driveway and Seth, Emma and our dog were playing in the backyard.  Emma ran to the gate squealing, laughing and yelling “Mama!”  I remember thinking, “Wow! She really likes me...”  Emma had always given hugs and kisses, but this was somehow different and something that will always make me smile. 

 

After Emma started daycare, we instituted mini-lockdowns on the weekends.  With few exceptions, we keep our weekends as low key as possible and spend time as a family.  Emma is no longer that serious child we met in Nanjing .  She’s happy, affectionate, and an absolute sweetheart.  Do we owe it all to the two month lockdown?  We think so and Emma agrees.    

 

The 2 month lockdown can be, to put it bluntly, brutal for parents; but for the child, it may be exactly what he or she needs.

Amy, Seth and Emma

Jayden: EAC individual special focus referral

Jayden is a 3rd grader who likes to play football, play with friends or watch TV when not at school. He'll turn 10 in August. His special need is red-green color blindness. Jayden can pick up peanuts with chopsticks, tie his shoes and catch a ball. He can take a bath and get dressed without help. He helps his foster family with chores: sweep the floor, wash and fold clothes, set the diner table. Every morning he makes his bed. He learns what the teacher teaches but he is shy and doesn't ask for help if he doesn't understand the lesson so his grades could be better. Jayden is quiet in front of strangers but once he gets to know someone, he will want to be friends.

Please contact EAC at 866-586-5656 if you are interested in adopting Jayden.